A former White House press secretary once told me that even the most milquetoast or horridly enfant terrible of personalities gets reshaped in interest levels when after their being described, “Have a good ‘but’ ….”
Usage:
- Javier is an *sshole, but …
- Cassidy is soooo slow, but …
- Freddie talks ad nauseum and says the boringest things, but …
- Gelana walks too fast while she’s reading, but …
So even if you’re not beloved, it’s still possible to be respected. Having a “good but” is important, if you are going to have perceived negative qualities. When you’re a change agent, you’re going to be piled on with all kinds of projections by people you’ve never interacted with directly — and it tends to be negative more than positive (because darkness is more powerful than the light … unfortunately).
After a long career in the public eye, and having generated countless reasons for why someone might dislike me, I believe that what’s kept me going is that I have a few, so-so buts that keep me from losing momentum. I also am in constant learning mode with the goal to improve myself through learning, learning, learning.
In summary, have a few good buts. But also, try not have a reason for being considered flawed. Do the work of listening to what people say about you — not to follow their commands, but to discover the ounce of truth that comes in every pound, ton, or kiloton of feedback.
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